My mothers husband was my abuser...so was one of his bothers and his father, more on that later.

The relationship between mother and daughter should be sacred. I've ached for real parental love for far too long. The hardest part, is when I compare my love for my son,  next to the love I've received from my mother. 

The last time I spoke to my mother, was over a year and a half ago. As you learn my story, I'll share what caused our final estrangement.  

Right now I'm going to jump to the end. The end that brought me here to share my story. After I told her I never wanted to see her again(because I was fed up with the disrespect)...she accepted it , didn't fight for our relationship. I guess that's what I've always wanted from here. To fight "FOR ME" . I wanted to her to put herself out there and actually show love.  Prove her love. Not something mothers usually have to fight for. But as I go on, you'll understand.

May 11th 2017..I receive this message on Facebook from her...........

Happy Birthday love you may you have a by your great day their is not a day that goes by that I miss you mom

This was my reply December 14th 2017

I come back and read this message every so often. But I dont believe you. If you think of me every day....What have you done to make things right between us? Have you gone to all of your family and let them know ...that i wasnt a liar? Because when I was 16 years old. You told them all that I was liar. You told them that JR was a victim and I was manipulative. You have had since I was 15 years old ...to clear my name, You havent. And it's been 1 1/2 year since having a funeral for Dolores and not inviting me. In that 1 1/2 year...I was waiting to see what you would do to make things right. You did what you always do...you just waited. Becuase you'd rather not deal with things and wait till I get over things.  I dont accept that anymore. You did me wrong. And my own family was protecting you from me...because of all the things you said about me.  I hope that before you die, you take accountability and go to everyone and tell them the truth. Because before you clear my name...I cannot forgive you. You've had over 25 years to do this.  You know I'm really hurt by you. Your my mother. And the 1 person who would fight for me. You never did.  And as I got older. I thought eventually you'd go tell people the truth. But instead you continue to bad mouth me by saying bad things about my husband to your sisters.  Your husband was trash...not mine! How dare you defend a pedophile...but trash talk my husband who has done everything for me and my son. Do you see the problem here?  You really need to look back at things. This year I've been severly ill. I was in the hospital, I Have a bleeding ulcer ...mostly due to stress. Probably from crying all the time...becuase I compare your love for me...with my love for my son...and it makes no sense.  I'm mentally much more stable because i've been seeing a therapist for a few years now. And I'm waiting. Waiting for you to do the right thing. I cannot clear my name. Only you can. You painted me a liar as a child..and I've never been able to shake that. Who would believe anything I say , after you allowed your husband to be the victim. You need to them you werre wrong and tell them all the truth. I didnt get clossure from JR . I hopeing that you dont do the same thing..and pretend that things were great. Bcz they werent. When I look back on my childhood..I remember beatings...and being raped...my childhood was hell!

I go online and look at (xxxxxx) facebook to see photos of the girls. And I noticed that there was a photo of (my niece).and she was in that house...and I'm praying it wasn't (step-uncle who sexually abused me) I saw her with. Because that man molested me. Do you see why I am so angry? My childhood was stolen.  And its your responsibilty to tell ceaser the truth...and protect his daughters from those evil people. I dont think you guys realize what hell it is living in my brain.  Because I cannot escape my past. When people talk about their childhoods, I'm reminded of mine. When people talk about their families...I'm reminded how I was abandoned because I was useless...because your husband did such a job on me...that i had no self confidence. I remember you you used to tell me to spit it out...bcz I would stutter..or say If I forgot it was lie. You used to call me the mouth when I was younger. But maybe you were all just doing things that wasnt right. But to shame a child....I can never get my childhood back. And I have to live the reality that I was a mother without any life skills...and that I learned more from my son ...than he learned from me, Because I was never taught love in my own family. Loyalty...but not love.



......She read it immediately. Facebook messenger, lets you know when you're message has been read.  I haven't heard from her yet.