I really lost it yesterday. I'm sorry. I was feeling sorry for myself, because I suffer from a lack of parental love....that no matter how pathetic it is. Its my reality. Its really time I accept that my mother will never make things right between us. It's apparent that she doesn't care...and I'm driving myself crazy over it.
My husband had a serious talk with me today. There were a lot of tears. The thing is....I'm going to be a grandmother soon.
My son had agreed to move back home. He'll take over our locksmith shop, so that my husband can start to recover from health problems. I'll work with him, and so will my daughter law...as time allows.
That's a really big blessing. I have serious abandonment issues. My son is making my life so easy. I cannot carry this hate anymore. Because its pure hate. It burns in my soul. Sometimes I question the thoughts that go through my head. It's making me sick. I cannot allow that sickness to affect a new life.
So I will do what I set out to do. I will purchase a web site...and gather stories. Stories of Amac's. I will continue to advocate for children. But I will no longer accept this depression.
I will focus on the good...and be grateful I'm out of that situation.
I owe it to my son, I owe to my future grandchildren...they a deserve a role model, who is not broken.
In the spirit of the future. I decided to buy some online editing software. I'd like to speak about AMAC issues one day, but first I need to gain that confidence. So I'm going to use youtube to get familiar with speaking. I really have no formal education....so I'll learn any way I can.
I accept positive criticism.
This is the first time I've really tried to edit a video. I hope you enjoy
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